lztybrn:

remember way back in 2006 when the wii first came out and then the entirety of the world forgot how to hold onto something with a firm grasp so much that nintendo had to make a shock absorbing condom just so that tvs wouldnt get destroyed when people would end up sending this thing flying at their tvs at 900 miles per hour


pantryraids:

why do dads sneeze so loud


mysticaljew:

i wanna s ur d ;) ((steal your dog)) 

(Source: mysticaljew)


newlists:
the titty grow big 
the titty make milk 
behind every bra, you will find titties 
i can see titty right now
2 is most common number for titty 
nipples exist independently of the titty
barbie only known example of titty existing independently of nipples 
having titty not limited to women
liking titty not limited to babies
tit is both a type of bird and synonym for the titty
booby is also both a type of bird and synonym for the titty
mascot of the usa is a bird with no relation to titties. mascot of france is woman with titty out
st agatha is patron saint of the titty 
cow’s milk comes from cow titties but almond milk does not 
almond titties not yet identified by science, the search continues
breast cancer awareness is a form of exploitative and unhelpful corporate shilling that does little to help those actually affected by breast cancer whilst perpetuating tired and objectifying gender stereotypes

newlists:

  1. the titty grow big 
  2. the titty make milk 
  3. behind every bra, you will find titties 
  4. i can see titty right now
  5. 2 is most common number for titty 
  6. nipples exist independently of the titty
  7. barbie only known example of titty existing independently of nipples 
  8. having titty not limited to women
  9. liking titty not limited to babies
  10. tit is both a type of bird and synonym for the titty
  11. booby is also both a type of bird and synonym for the titty
  12. mascot of the usa is a bird with no relation to titties. mascot of france is woman with titty out
  13. st agatha is patron saint of the titty 
  14. cow’s milk comes from cow titties but almond milk does not 
  15. almond titties not yet identified by science, the search continues
  16. breast cancer awareness is a form of exploitative and unhelpful corporate shilling that does little to help those actually affected by breast cancer whilst perpetuating tired and objectifying gender stereotypes

daenerystargayren:

being really into history is cooler than being into math or science… someone who likes math and science is called a “math nerd” or a “science geek” but someone who likes history is called a “history buff” because of their strong, sensual arms


jephahowards:

i wish i was as pretty as my icon

(Source: zedoaria)


willamette-valley-girl:

She always gets so mad at me when I take her picture


andyflynns:

  • 'the new handyman's hot so i'm gonna keep breaking stuff' au
  • 1940’s jazz club au
  • 'i'm having a shit day and you just crashed into my car so i was gonna give you hell but wow you're really hot' au
  • 'you just moved into my building so i'm gonna bring you something you probably…

tinyhouseplant:

as an asexual, my anaconda generally just don’t.


HOW THE CYNIC FALLS IN LOVE

kaitrokowski:

When I realized I loved you 
it was not romantic 
Not flush with pink roses & wine
but rather normal 
Rather standing in line at CVS 
clutching a four pack of peanut butter cups 
& cold medicine
It was a quiet realization 
Like checking the weather I was currently standing in 
"Huh. It’s a bit warmer
than I would have guessed.” 


disparatre:

Girls who don’t receive romantic/sexual attention from boys blame themselves

Boys who don’t receive romantic/sexual attention from girls blame girls


(Source: joshanddrake)



iblamebuckybarnes:

unofficialhogwarts:

Headcanon that after the battle of Hogwarts, George dyes his hair an outrageous colour, and at first Molly is mad, but then she hears George whisper “I kept thinking it was him in the mirror”. 

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